My own gambling story...

[JohnnyJaw]

First off: I know I have a huge problem with gambling. I feel it on my own once I deposited and while I play - I'm sure most of you can relate to that feeling. Just knowing you're currently doing something extremely wrong but still you can't stop. 

It's been almost 4 years of gambling now for me. It all started back in the days with (for my current conditions) low deposits via PayPal of around 20€-40€ a week. I started with the "old" Pragmatic slots which were pretty low in their volatility. It continued with NetEnt slots, which I really enjoyed. The old Jack and the Beanstalk, Gonzo, Dead or Alive etc... Some awesome wins on it but nothing really life changing or a win which would keep me in profit.

 

After a year or so of gambling casually I started playing BTG slots, which are, as most of you know, highly volatile. I've collected shitloads of 1000x - 5000x wins on those games (Danger, Dragon Born, Bonanza..) while simultaneously gambling away those wins again - hoping for the lifechanger which would pay my debt and keep my mind off of slots finally. At this point in ~2017 (I don't really remember) I could have still stopped gambling. It would have been a pretty big loss for me, but if I stopped back then I could have been debt free now and live a happier life. But I didn't... 

 

It all went completely down hill when bonus buys became famous in the scene and ever since until now my archenemy in this section is Extra Chilli. This game man.. I don't know how many times I sit there and wished that nobody ever developed this slot.

 

After a whopping 6.300x on this game on a 0.80€ bet (also posted somewhere in here) I finally thought of quitting slots forever. I played at Wunderino back then and collected a total + of 15.000€ in a session of just 3 days. I've cashed out on that website a few months before and put those 15k as a withdrawal.. After 3 days of waiting for the approval they demanded another verification. As you may already guess - I reversed those withdrawals while it took them over 2 weeks to verify my account again.. As dumb as I was I gambled away all of it - leaving a big black hole in my brain and in my pocket. I've been chasing this amount ever since.. debts went higher and higher until now. This year pretty much all I did was playing Extra Chilli and buying bonusses on it. The volatility just keeps me playing this slot and once I hit 24 spins the joy comes in - the vicious circle of gambling. I think it's been around 20k loss just on that game this year where it went up and down all the time. Summer this year I've had 25k in my bank account. But I couldn't stop.. maybe because it wasn't enough to pay my debt completely but probably mostly because I'm highly addicted to slots and gambling with my money. 

 

I guess there's a total debt of around 50.000€ - in "just" 4 years of gambling. For some of you 50k may be "not as much" but for me it is devastating.

 

My addiction to slots is still present to this day. But I've decided to stop completely which is probably the best for me, my beautiful wife (who now knows about my addiction) and my newborn son.

 

I've blocked myself on every onlinecasino I've ever been registered and I've even registered to those I haven't played on in the past - just to selfexclude myself right away. I also talked to my wife about all of it and revealed every secret I had regarding my gambling problem. She knew I had a problem in the past but I told her I stopped.. which I didn't. Being honest with her was the first step of my healing process and I wish for nothing more than becoming gambling-free in the future. I also start a therapy next month and gave my wife total control of my bank account. 

 

I don't blame anyone for my mindset and my own decisions regarding gambling but I want to appeal to everyone - affiliate or not - gambling destroys lifes. Some of us addicts even have suicidal thoughts because of gambling problems. You added warnings before your videos, you have important notifications about how to gamble responsible under your youtube videos but if you're honest with yourself you probably don't really care about responsible gambling of others because that's not how you and the OC you're affiliated with make the most out of it.

 

All of this is my own opinion, you can agree or not. Some of those things may be true, others may be false. I just wanted to share my gambling story with this forum and even if I can keep a single person away from gambling with this story it is a big win (  ) for me and the person as well!

 

Stay safe everyone. All the best for the future to everyone who read this topic to the end and maybe thought about some of my points. I've also attacked some people on this forum and on youtube in the past, for example @Slotspinner - which I am really sorry for. My hate towards you came from losses and personal dissatisfaction and had nothing to do with you as a person. 

 

Some sentences may be confusing for you english people - I'm sorry! I'm German and I don't really know how to express myself in english sometimes.

[sirbuzzk]

Hi JohnnyJaw,

Thanks for sharing this! 

I would recommend you to have a look at the responses this this thread:

Its currently active, and have some great advice/support. As mentioned there, if you feel the need for a more direct contact to talk to feel free to send me a PM.

Some information about important tools: https://casinogrounds.com/guides/responsible-gambling/

What makes Casinogrounds and its streamers unique in my opinion is the actual focus on responsible gambling. If someone wins big or is running bad you will always be encouraged to take a break as the house always win in the long run.

From what you are writing you seem to be one of the lucky/strong ones with a problem; Aware, open and already started ensuring a good treatment. 

Many ex-problem gamblers use streamers to experience gambling indirect without playing themselves, but this is naturally individual and you need to find out what works for you.

I believe Casinogrounds also helps you with a free GamBan license if you PM @Skylined87

 

I wish you all the best !

[JohnnyJaw]

No words... ?

[Skylined87]

11 minutes ago, JohnnyJaw said:

No words... ?

Which casino? ? 

[desity2017]

@JohnnyJaw, 

 

First of all, thanks for sharing your story.

I assume its not easy to stand up in front of yourself and family to admit that you have a problem, but you did it and now you are working on it - which deserves all the respect you can get for it! 

Your story is another one, which has to remind us how the decisions we are making can affect our lives. 

We all should be able to meet the consequences of our own actions! 

I know that we are surrounded by many factors which provoking, stimulating and pushing us to do things that might be wrong and unfortunately we dont realize it before its late. Im not gonna say too late, because there is always way back of any situation! Its up to us how long its gonna take to step back on our feet! 

 

I hope your story will be a great example that the power is in our hands, we are the only one who can make the change happen! 

Be proud of yourself, you already made the most important step!  

 

I wish all best to you and your family ❤️ Enjoy to every moment that future is about to give you!

[JohnnyJaw]

4 hours ago, Skylined87 said:

Which casino? ? 

Westcasino  Didn't deposit there in the past, but was registered and got a mail yesterday.. So they kinda reminded me to selfexclude myself, lol. Was a bit shocked about this answer. 

2 hours ago, desity2017 said:

@JohnnyJaw, 

 

First of all, thanks for sharing your story.

I assume its not easy to stand up in front of yourself and family to admit that you have a problem, but you did it and now you are working on it - which deserves all the respect you can get for it! 

Your story is another one, which has to remind us how the decisions we are making can affect our lives. 

We all should be able to meet the consequences of our own actions! 

I know that we are surrounded by many factors which provoking, stimulating and pushing us to do things that might be wrong and unfortunately we dont realize it before its late. Im not gonna say too late, because there is always way back of any situation! Its up to us how long its gonna take to step back on our feet! 

 

I hope your story will be a great example that the power is in our hands, we are the only one who can make the change happen! 

Be proud of yourself, you already made the most important step!  

 

I wish all best to you and your family ❤️ Enjoy to every moment that future is about to give you!

Wow, thank you for these kind words desity. I'll keep you guys updated in this topic from time to time. I fortunately have an awesome wife I can count on 100%. Good luck to you on the slots though, even if you don't need it obviously, haha! ?