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Depression from previous gambling problem.

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I am 26 years of age and have struggled once before at around 21 years of age with a serious gambling problem.. I once stole off my parents easily over 2k pounds just to fund my habit and chase these big wins. Not only this but I am so depressed about everything I have done wrong to my family in the past that I am not taking good care of my health as I believe I am just a lost cause to them. A problem if you will. Even though they have all forgiven me and try so hard with me. Therefor I do not leave the house often. I have not had a job for 1 year or more and my confidence is very low so I find it so hard to leave the house and be productive throughout the days looking for work and just general anxiety problems and self destructive behaviour. My life is slowly becoming more and more unbearable and if anyone can help me out in any way with any kind words or information on what I can do to better my situation then please let me know it will be greatly appreciated. Thanks to the streamers on twitch I am eternally grateful for all your kind words to me over these last weeks you have helped me so much already and just this alone makes me feel like I am on the road to recovery somewhat. Please feel free to respond in any way you guys would like. All be it harsh words/words of encouragement or trolls LOL.. It feels so good to open up and talk even though I am just typing words I feel like the weight is already lifting. I know this is not a gambling problem but a problem within myself and understand if people choose not to respond because of this but it would be greatly appreciated if anybody could take the time to maybe just say a few words and maybe if someone else is in the same sort of place they could read this one day and know that it is OK to talk about your problems so  that people/family can help you as much as they can. I will say I am extremely grateful to the streamers for being so warm and welcoming to me when I first started watching them and commenting in the chat. Now you guys know my story and maybe I can get over this and get better before it is too late now :) Kindest Regards, Craig.

Edited by croussplay2016
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Hey Craig,

it's a sad story indeed. Gambling is extremely sensitive topic, as it can easily rob a person more than his money - confidence, nerves, relationships. If not approached carefully it can easily destroy your life. Speaking from my own experience, it's extremely hard to find the right balance in gambling as you can get easily carried away and spend way too much than intended. My bank account has been negative for a long time due to that, not mentioning all the time I wasted and avoided most contacts. However, one has to experience that just to realise something has to be changed. Nowdays my bank account is healthy, although I still sometime gamble more than I wanted - but it doesn't affect my life that much anymore. I do have times when I should be really doing other stuff but I go and escape reality by gambling (this is one of the main reasons people gamble, because it's so easy to forget everything). 

My suggestion to you is that you set some goals for you, start with small steps. For example, start sending out CV's and applying for jobs. Rediscover your life - find again what makes you happy (because you lost that somewhere in the way). Focus on the things that are important - your family, your girlfriend (if you have one), your health, your happiness. 

If watching streams help you not to gamble then continue doing so, as it helped many people already, and the community here is more or less amazing and willing to help - even the streamers themselves.

I wrote a lot regarding the responsible gambling and all the issues related to that here. I strongly recommend that you check the topics there :)

And welcome to the forums :)

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sorry to hear this :( i went through something similar last year,... not so much gambling problems itself but i've struggled with depression for my whole life.. just remember there's always someone to talk to :) !

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One time addicted always addicted. Save Your  money, gambling will not Get you rich. You pay to Get the buzz and kill some time but is it worth it?

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I wasn't going to create an account on here but after reading your post I felt I just had to.

I have a very similar story to you, my addiction isn't online casinos or horse racing etc, it's them damn fobtys that curse our towns and city's in the UK.

I also stole 2k from my family and what made it all the worse was it was from the fund that was meant to pay for my mums headstone, it really was the lowest of the low but the power these machines had over me was immense. I never had a problem with gambling until I walked into a betting shop in 2005 on my lunch break and wondered what them terminals were in the corner, since then I have lost many relationships and good jobs and I became a thief and a liar. I spiralled into depression. When I blew that 2k that was meant for my mums grave I had every intention of killing myself in some way, I text my brother and told him what I done and what I was going to do. Needless to say my family were desperately worried for my safety and wellbeing and called the police in. To cut a long story short I was found by the police 2 days later and that was the start of my recovery. 

My advice to you is just to talk to someone and be completely honest about everything,  I even told my Dr everything and fair play he was fantastic and recognised the fact I have a condition. My family forgave me as did yours,  I took time off sick before resuming my career. I now have a pretty good job, I paid back all the money I stole and I have a little self respect back. I started watching Nick and other streamers a while back and it just made me realise what a fool I was to have almost given my life to them fobtys. I now budget a very modest amount to rizk or Leo Vegas and it's something I enjoy, some people will say you still gamble and you shouldn't do it but online gambling was never the issue for me, i now just gamble with what I can afford to easily lose. 

Being totally honest and up front worked for me, i really do wish you a the very best for the future. 

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Wow, i'm so sorry to hear about your problems regarding gambling guys.

This is the nature of the beast, and i 100% agree that FOBT's are the cancer of the industry preying on the vulnerable.

I do try and promote responsible gambling on stream with lower bet sizes, and encouraging the lock in feature at Rizk, but at the end of the day these are just words and if you have a real addiction to the point where you can't go without gambling then you need professional help.

I like to think people who have a real addiction can watch streams such as mine, Letsgiveitaspin's etc and get their "fix" from ourselves playing, but there will always be that urge especially when we get a big win so i recommend you just self exclude from all casinos we promote.

I'm always here to talk to and if you need help with self exclusions on Rizk/Casumo let me know.

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The only way out of this is to not gamble whatsoever. To have no contact with the industry or even watching streamers. As I always state EVERYBODY LOSES eventually.  

Its hard to be honest about what you've done and anybody who comes on this thread and admits to how it has affected their lives, I have nothing but the utmost respect. Thats the start. There's more to live than this. 

addiction to slots is the worst kind of addiction but its the only addiction built on hope. If i keep playing I can turn it around. It wont, it will just rob you of more of your life. Its funny how one doesnt feel depreesed when winning

To say FOBTs are the cancer of the industry is like saying something is the cancer of cancer.  You wuldnt place a football bet if you were told it has a 97%RTP. It is being spelled out for you in plain english. for every £1000 you bet we'll give you back £970 ad infinitum

Whatever joy you get from slots (plenty of documentaries showing addiction is in how you 'nearly' win) dont let them fool you. you wil lose more than money when addiction is involved

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remember a few decades ago when addiction to slots where confined to amusement arcades. there were fewer in those days and RTP was in the mid 70s. Now as it creeps towards 97% addiction to these machines has grown exponentially. Dont be surprised to see RTPs to rise even further in a bid to get your money but at least theyve only got 3 percent to work with

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6 minutes ago, losemorethanyouwin said:

The only way out of this is to not gamble whatsoever. To have no contact with the industry or even watching streamers. As I always state EVERYBODY LOSES eventually.  

Its hard to be honest about what you've done and anybody who comes on this thread and admits to how it has affected their lives, I have nothing but the utmost respect. Thats the start. There's more to live than this. 

addiction to slots is the worst kind of addiction but its the only addiction built on hope. If i keep playing I can turn it around. It wont, it will just rob you of more of your life. Its funny how one doesnt feel depreesed when winning

To say FOBTs are the cancer of the industry is like saying something is the cancer of cancer.  You wuldnt place a football bet if you were told it has a 97%RTP. It is being spelled out for you in plain english. for every £1000 you bet we'll give you back £970 ad infinitum

Whatever joy you get from slots (plenty of documentaries showing addiction is in how you 'nearly' win) dont let them fool you. you wil lose more than money when addiction is involved

You can't honestly compare FOBT's to online slots, that's just ridiculous.

And saying this "for every £1000 you bet we'll give you back £970 ad infinitum" isn't accurate at all.

It's clear you must of had issues with gambling in the past and i sympathize but if you treat gambling as a bit of fun then it's completely harmless.

People who have addictive personalities will always find something to pursue.

I agree that if you have a real gambling problem where you need your "fix" and you even resort to things like stealing, then you should avoid the Casino Games section on Twitch and YouTube completely and find something else to do with your time

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Just now, Nick said:

You can't honestly compare FOBT's to online slots, that's just ridiculous.

its exactly the same. It just one of them completely takes the piss with what it returns. You do understand you lose whichever of these you play right?

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5 minutes ago, Nick said:

And saying this "for every £1000 you bet we'll give you back £970 ad infinitum" isn't accurate at all.

Im not quite sure you undertand what RTP means. it means exactly that over sustained period of time. TO say something isnt accurate at all when it is exactly accurate is bizarre

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3 minutes ago, losemorethanyouwin said:

its exactly the same. It just one of them completely takes the piss with what it returns. You do understand you lose whichever of these you play right?

 

Well you're right about one thing, FOBT's completely take the piss with what they pay and should be banned.

Just now, losemorethanyouwin said:

Im not quite sure you undertand what RTP means. it means exactly that over sustained period of time. TO say something isnt accurate at all when it is exactly accurate is bizarre

97% RTP is the overall Return to Player on many many spins for many many players, not an individual. You can play a slot, get a massive win on the first spin or do hundreds of spins and hit nothing, that's what happens.

Anyone playing slot machines to try and make money is being silly, you need to just treat it as a bit of fun, and if you profit from it, keep it.

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yep agreed but Im talking long run over every game you ever play, mostly we are playing 97% RTP so we can correlate all data from all games we play and you will find you get 97% of what you get back from money you have deposited. Its a mathmatical system which is spelled out to everyone

 

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Having played these fobtys since the mid 2000's until fairly recently, I have seen big hard grown men crying tears of dispear when they have done their wages or rent money etc, I really have seen that many times including myself in that, yet I see news clips on YouTube and other places from the gambling industry saying that it's only a small percentage of people who have issues with fixed odds betting terminals. Now what a load of bollocks that is, as nick said they prey mercilessly on the vulnerable,  and I for one will campaign against them until the max stake is reduced to £2. 

As Rocknrolla says "fuck the fobts" 

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I agree with just about everything being said, i think it's time i try and promote responsible gambling more and get in touch with GamCare to see if there is anything i can do whether it be donating some of my winnings or something in partnership with Rizk.

I'll have a think, last thing i want is people to lose all their money on slots just because they have seen my stream, and if that is the case i would help them self exclude from any Casino i have referred them to.

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3 hours ago, Nick said:

I agree with just about everything being said, i think it's time i try and promote responsible gambling more and get in touch with GamCare to see if there is anything i can do whether it be donating some of my winnings or something in partnership with Rizk.

I'll have a think, last thing i want is people to lose all their money on slots just because they have seen my stream, and if that is the case i would help them self exclude from any Casino i have referred them to.

Im not addicted mate just depressed from once being addicted to gambling in general.. Slots is fun man to lose a tenner every few days is nothing i spend more than that on cigarettes. Like I said my family supported me through a tough period where I was in the BOOKIES all day every day, stealing money off of them to fund my habit, but I am sensible and a little bit wiser from it. Just to share my experience with you guys and hopefully someone can relate and think its OK to speak out and get help even if it is in forums online. I do need support and you guys do that 100%. I have never felt more welcome chatting to you guys and to open up about depression and feeling like a failure to your family. Like I said I still seem to punish myself even today but I can hand on heart tell you I am not addicted to gambling nor slots anymore :) Would be cool to win big but I don't chase it because we all know where that goes... Right back to square one. Seriously thank you all and you Nick mate for these kind kind words of encouragement it means more than you guys know! See you guys on streams in the future anyways take care now. Regards, Craig.

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5 hours ago, Cheesycock69 said:

I wasn't going to create an account on here but after reading your post I felt I just had to.

I have a very similar story to you, my addiction isn't online casinos or horse racing etc, it's them damn fobtys that curse our towns and city's in the UK.

I also stole 2k from my family and what made it all the worse was it was from the fund that was meant to pay for my mums headstone, it really was the lowest of the low but the power these machines had over me was immense. I never had a problem with gambling until I walked into a betting shop in 2005 on my lunch break and wondered what them terminals were in the corner, since then I have lost many relationships and good jobs and I became a thief and a liar. I spiralled into depression. When I blew that 2k that was meant for my mums grave I had every intention of killing myself in some way, I text my brother and told him what I done and what I was going to do. Needless to say my family were desperately worried for my safety and wellbeing and called the police in. To cut a long story short I was found by the police 2 days later and that was the start of my recovery. 

My advice to you is just to talk to someone and be completely honest about everything,  I even told my Dr everything and fair play he was fantastic and recognised the fact I have a condition. My family forgave me as did yours,  I took time off sick before resuming my career. I now have a pretty good job, I paid back all the money I stole and I have a little self respect back. I started watching Nick and other streamers a while back and it just made me realise what a fool I was to have almost given my life to them fobtys. I now budget a very modest amount to rizk or Leo Vegas and it's something I enjoy, some people will say you still gamble and you shouldn't do it but online gambling was never the issue for me, i now just gamble with what I can afford to easily lose. 

Being totally honest and up front worked for me, i really do wish you a the very best for the future. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for those kind kind words of yours man and I genuinely hope you are on the road to recovery as I do feel I am too :) Seriously thank you for sharing that mate means a lot and keep up the good fight! Regards, Craig.

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7 hours ago, Skylined87 said:

Hey Craig,

it's a sad story indeed. Gambling is extremely sensitive topic, as it can easily rob a person more than his money - confidence, nerves, relationships. If not approached carefully it can easily destroy your life. Speaking from my own experience, it's extremely hard to find the right balance in gambling as you can get easily carried away and spend way too much than intended. My bank account has been negative for a long time due to that, not mentioning all the time I wasted and avoided most contacts. However, one has to experience that just to realise something has to be changed. Nowdays my bank account is healthy, although I still sometime gamble more than I wanted - but it doesn't affect my life that much anymore. I do have times when I should be really doing other stuff but I go and escape reality by gambling (this is one of the main reasons people gamble, because it's so easy to forget everything). 

My suggestion to you is that you set some goals for you, start with small steps. For example, start sending out CV's and applying for jobs. Rediscover your life - find again what makes you happy (because you lost that somewhere in the way). Focus on the things that are important - your family, your girlfriend (if you have one), your health, your happiness. 

If watching streams help you not to gamble then continue doing so, as it helped many people already, and the community here is more or less amazing and willing to help - even the streamers themselves.

I wrote a lot regarding the responsible gambling and all the issues related to that here. I strongly recommend that you check the topics there :)

And welcome to the forums :)

You the man Skylined87 never stop being you because you are awesome, thank you so much for those kind kind words of encouragement and I will take your advice for sure it really means a lot to me. Regards, Craig.

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3 hours ago, Cheesycock69 said:

Having played these fobtys since the mid 2000's until fairly recently, I have seen big hard grown men crying tears of dispear when they have done their wages or rent money etc, I really have seen that many times including myself in that, yet I see news clips on YouTube and other places from the gambling industry saying that it's only a small percentage of people who have issues with fixed odds betting terminals. Now what a load of bollocks that is, as nick said they prey mercilessly on the vulnerable,  and I for one will campaign against them until the max stake is reduced to £2. 

As Rocknrolla says "fuck the fobts" 

Thank you for those kind kind words mate means a lot seriously thank you! Regards, Craig.

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6 hours ago, nuuqipp said:

sorry to hear this :( i went through something similar last year,... not so much gambling problems itself but i've struggled with depression for my whole life.. just remember there's always someone to talk to :) !

Thank you for those kind kind words mate means a lot :) I hope you are feeling better within yourself mate and I can relate 100% . Regards, Craig

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Some real sad stories.

The first good thing is that there is recognition that there is a gambling problem. That is the major step to recovery. The second thing is that you are able to talk about it with close family and get the support.

I am a smoker. Sometime ago, I gave up smoking for two years. I beat the addiction and was well pleased with it. Until one day I fancied a cigarette. Just the one I thought. Can't do any harm. Big mistake that was because in no time was I back to being a full time smoker.

There is a lesson learned from that. If you have beaten the gambling addiction, I suggest you don't put a single penny into the machines ever again. It is possibly the road back to the addiction where even setting budgets may not help.

If it is the online gambling that is causing problems, there is software available to blocks casinos loading. K9 web protection is free and works, Gamblock is a paid tool that blocks too. You can try http://www.plevna.f9.co.uk/block-gambling-with-txnogam.htm for 28 days. This really works as you can't uninstall it even if you tried. Be warned though because it does the job properly and even blocks Youtube casino wins and you won't have access to here or any casino forums. When I tried it, it even blocked access to my online share accounts!!

Edited by Slotplayer

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Instead of sitting in your house all day why don't you get out there and go travelling or something ? Something new and challenging which will deal with this feeling like a failure and give you a whole new perspective on life and yourself . Maybe you feel like a failure at the moment because you're not doing anything meaningful with your life ? It's not easy to just stop addictive behaviour without changing your life in other ways because gambling problems are symptomatic of a more general unhappiness (or maybe desire for more excitement in your life ?)

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1 minute ago, realagentbearrrrr said:

Instead of sitting in your house all day why don't you get out there and go travelling or something ? Something new and challenging which will deal with this feeling like a failure and give you a whole new perspective on life and yourself . Maybe you feel like a failure at the moment because you're not doing anything meaningful with your life ? It's not easy to just stop addictive behaviour without changing your life in other ways because gambling problems are symptomatic of a more general unhappiness (or maybe desire for more excitement in your life ?)

That makes so much sense mate honestly appreciate these kind kind words of yours and thank you for the advice I will be sure to take this advice on board. Means a lot thank you so much! Regards, Craig

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Hey Croussplay2016, or Craig, this is only my opinion so others may disagree. I started gambling 20 years ago and was also in a similar place to yourself many years ago. I was always chasing wins with the mentality that a slot will pay cos of the amount lost. Such a wrong way to think when it's all luck, I would always win on fruit machines but never on slots. It made me very depressed and anxious that It also affected my health. I still to this day remember losing over 10k in slots in 1 session. Makes me sick. It probably was the first time i realised i had a problem. In my opinion, the only way you can help the depression, addiction and anxiety is to overcome the problems with help but mainly yourself. Sure, help is valuable but it has to come from you. People can give you a mindset but if you dont want to make an effort to change, then you wont get far is what i believe and learned. What helped my depression and anxiety was socialising and giving myself new challenges in life, like finding something i liked or was good at and becoming better at it. I agree that not everyone is the same but i strongly believe if you take yourself away from a negative situation and try to be positive things WILL get better. Just hang in there buddy, things will get better, I have faith in you.

Edited by Patriotic Scot
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If gambling is the root of all this negativity in your life then I'd advise you to take a very big step away from all things relating to gambling. The fact that you are staying indoors watching streams about gambling and posting on gambling forums suggests to me that perhaps this chapter of your life isn't quite finished.

If you don't have a job and have spare time on your hands go and volunteer until you figure out what to do next.

But continuing to stay so close to gambling doesn't seems like a wise choice and something I would strongly urge you to consider doing something about.

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