Don't be afraid to ask for help.

[SirNormski]

I'm not here to ask for help. I just wanted to share my story and remind people that it's okay to ask for help.

When I was younger, I built up a reasonable amount of debt simply from being a bit reckless with money, but I didn't tell anyone that I was in debt. After being with my girlfriend for a few years, she wanted to start saving to buy our own home. I was on a reasonably good wage, so my plan was to gradually clear the debt whilst also saving for a property. After a few months, I noticed that although I was saving a small amount, my debt wasn't reducing. I felt a lot of pressure to get things sorted quickly before anyone discovered that I was in debt.

I was a casual gambler and had a few decent wins. I convinced myself that I could win enough to clear my debt. That was the biggest mistake of my life so far. The next year of my life consisted of gambling and lying to the people closest to me. As you can imagine, my savings depleted and my debt grew. This resulted in more pressure, which led to me gambling even more. It was a vicious cycle.

In December last year, I found myself in a situation that I couldn't lie my way out of. I had no choice but to come clean and watch my entire life fall apart. Not only would I be in debt including about six pay day loans, but I'd be hated and alone too, right?

WRONG!

I came clean to my girlfriend, my parents and my future in-laws. All of which were upset and my girlfriend was understandably heartbroken and angry. But more than anything, they were concerned and supportive. I attended regular one to one counselling sessions with GamCare for about eight weeks and passed over control of my bank account to my partner. By February, I'd consolidated all of my debt into a single, long term loan. I had full control over my bank account and my life again.

With hand on heart, I can honestly say that I haven't gambled since the day I game clean, with the exception of a small lottery syndicate I take part in. More importantly, I don't have any interest or desire to gamble. I've saved hard and I'm proud to say that we recently exchanged contracts on our first home. We'll be moving soon. I've also managed to enjoy life more because I can afford to go to football matches, nights out etc...

On a separate note about buying a property. If anyone tells you that you can't get a mortgage if you've had pay day loans, which is commonly said by 'expert' Martin Lewis, they're wrong. I received a full mortgage offer less than six months after clearing my pay day loans. It's a negative factor on the application, but can be outweighed by the positive ones.

Gambling should be fun. If it isn't fun, then it's time to stop. If you have a problem (and you'll know that you do, but just refuse to accept it), it's time to ask for help. It's difficult, scary and emotional. It'll probably be the hardest thing that you ever do. But it'll also be the best thing that you ever do. The people that you're most afraid or ashamed to tell, will be the same people that can help you the most.

Help is always available. Just ask for it.

If anyone ever wants help from someone who's been through it, feel free to message me.