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4 weeks update rain or sunshine?

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It's been exactly 4 weeks since I wrote the last time that I was quitting gambling I have got my monthly paycheck nearly a week ago from work.

Oh also its rain outside. :(

So for 4 weeks now I havent played a single slot I was at a friends house who asked if we was going to play a shared bullet a saturday night and I said NO. 

Then he said he was gonna play himself then and I said that he could do that tomorrow because if you play casino now I will walk home. :) 

I got my paycheck and I payed all my bills + rent and I have a little money over that covers food for the whole month. :D 

I did play lotto on svenska spel for 50kr(Like mega millions and thoose other lottery but swedish for 5€/5$) didnt win anything sadly but who cares didnt instantly make a new row of lotto or anything. 

Overall I feel so much happier in my life the anxiety is not a hard hitting element anymoore.

Sadly it does not repair my debts that I got from gambling and I dont have enough hours at work to pay back since I need food to survive. But this is just the start of my new life there will be plenty of time to work my ass off to repay what I caused due to my addiction.

But in the end I feel like this is it im free and i'm very happy for all the support I got from here.

My dark sad story turned to sunshine thanks to all the support from this forum!

Conclusion: Sunshine! 

I like how the gambling comunity comes together and support others when needed. people can talk as much shit as they want about gamblers but atleast gamblers have hearts of gold thats one proven fact! :D 

Edited by Andy Fox
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If you are happy i'm happy! You did good to manage to stay away from gambling this whole time, and say no to your gambling friend! Cheers!:D

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I'm so happy you managed to go cold turkey and please keep it that way buddy <3 It could also be good to tell your friends that you really want to stay away from gambling and ask them to not invite you if they want to gamble.

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1 hour ago, the_68 said:

If you are happy i'm happy! You did good to manage to stay away from gambling this whole time, and say no to your gambling friend! Cheers!:D

Thank you, It was hard and as many could see I had alot of trial and error and fails I been trying to become gamble free for a long time and just kept fcking it up so in someway i'm really happy to finally succeeded on my journy. Yes but he knows i'm trying to stop so that was kind of a dick move.... :P 

1 hour ago, LetsGiveItASpin said:

I'm so happy you managed to go cold turkey and please keep it that way buddy <3 It could also be good to tell your friends that you really want to stay away from gambling and ask them to not invite you if they want to gamble.

Thank you kim, means alot coming from the great Sir Letsgiveitaspin. :D Yes this friend knows about it so it wasnt very kind of him to do so. Our whole friendship has been based around gambling. So I guess he feels a bit sad that I won't gamble anymoore.

But that anxiety and pressure after having a big down streak, it so nice not feeling that way anymoore. :D 

I still follow the streams tough. :) still better than watching TV.

Edited by Andy Fox
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Well done buddy, you should be proud of yourself. Not many people have a mind strong enough to stay away from gambling, including me. Good luck in the future! :D

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Thank you, sorry for the late reply. :) It is hard but once it's been a while easy.

So far.
Watching stream youtube clips does not trigger.

Getting emails from casinos or promoters saying something about your account and a bonus I get really sick to my stumache and have to close my email. I don't even dare to enter the site to close see if my account is closed. Since im sure if it's open It feels like I will play it's a hard feeling to describe but like pure panic and anxiety as soon as I see a mail from a casino since I dunno if my account is closed or not.

I still receive phone calls from casinos now and then that says they have a bonus for me but I just reply no and that my account is closed and they apologize and this is also not a trigger just seeing the emails.

And I dont even enter casino heroes/casino saga  anymoore automaticly every time I open a browser haha dunno how long I did that after closing my account well over a year ago now. :D 

I just can't stop feeling depressed as fuck now when i'm free and counting on how much I actually lost how high my debt is and what the future now beholds for me sadly I can't see any other way that i'm fucked just around 100K Swedish sek in debt now but The rent is so high I cant even pay it off and since i got a debt I cant borrow from a bank to collect it into 1 loan to pay of with a bit better rent. 

I just have no clue what to do right now. 

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