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How my addiction can help you.

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Hello everyone,

After speaking to a few people in Kim's and Nick's streams, I have decided to post about my Gambling Addiction. Hopefully my story can persuade you or even just make you aware that you can really fall quickly into a horrible place.

The story is quite long, but if you stick with it and give it 5 minutes I feel it can really make you aware of the dangers of gambling.

I started gambling a tiny bit late in age, when I was about 22. A friend showed me the ins and outs of how to play a fruit machine (I wish so much he never showed me!). I instantly, and I mean INSTANTLY became addicted and used to spend all my money I earned as a postman on FOBT's. Fortunately my father caught me a few times and sat me down and taught me the evil ways of the FOBT!

I actually stopped gambling for about a year and things were pretty good, I had joined the navy, fit as a flea and had quite a bit money saved for a rainy day. I then got introduced to online football bets, which then turned into online blackjack and roulette which then turned to TURBO DEGEN JIMBO slots, blackjack, poker, roulette, horse racing, FUCKING snail racing is I could gambling.

My style of gambling is incredibly dangerous, for example;

Deposit £250, get balance to £500, withdraw £250 which means in my head I have £250 free to play with. 9/10 I'd lose and I'd repeat said bet in 3 days time, BUT! that 1/10 moment where I when 2k, 3k, 5k. I feel like a boss, BUZZING. Take screenshots, post it onto the forums, post it on live streams, show my friends etc.

This inevitably gets spent over the next few months from more gambling and I'm back feeling sorry for myself, blaming everyone but myself.

This went on for 5 YEARS, until last year. I just simply had enough. I told my family about my addiction. Believe me I was cacking my pants. Numerous things were running through my head. What if they think I'm an idiot? What if they laugh at how stupid it is? How angry are my family going to be? All these questions and so many more. 

What I found was that yes, they were upset. Yes, they didn't understand how someone could be addicted to gambling. But I was so so so RELIEVED that I had finally told them. They too were in some way happy that I spoke out,  this was a good step. A positive one! Until I hit my all time low!

Last year I had completed a 6 month tour of The Falklands Islands, a shit hole freezing country with nothing in it but sheep for 6 long horrible months. I went, mostly for the money, I was 3k in debt, 27 and had nothing to my name. Out there I was earning Just over 2.5k a month.

I came back after 6 months, booked a trip with my family for two weeks in Barbados. beautiful, and I had over 8k savings left in my account. I was extremely happy.

3 weeks later, I've been to pub, seen my mates and thought, ah! why not give Blackjack a try, I'll deposit £500, see how it goes. As I've had a few I gamble above my limits and do £75 bets. That £500 lasted 5 minuted. 

Not phased, I deposit another £1000, this time betting £100 a go. That lasts about 45 minutes.

I'm pissed off now

FUCK IT, £1000 more, I still have around 6k in the bank. £250 hand - loss. Another £250 hand - loss. FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK. £500 spin. YOU LOSE SIR.

Drunk, angry and only about an hour in I'm £2,500 down. For a man that earns £24,500 a year, it hurts.

Well this calls for one thing. I deposited £2,500 went on roulette, Downed the Morgans Spiced out the cupboard to sooth my pain and done 3 £500 spins. Nothing, I feel so sick, I'm sweating! time for the £1000 spin. I get something like £3,400 back happy days. Nope, I'm drunk and angry. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Cut to 4AM. I'm sleepy, angry, so angry infact I had thrown and broken my phone, my headphones were damaged and I had thrown and smashed a glass cup down my hallway. I was £5,000 down in ONE NIGHT.

That might not be a lot in some people's mind, but that for me is over 10% of my yearly wage spent in ONE NIGHT. I woke up  the next morning and I was just sad, distraught in myself that I had worked so hard for 6 months, escaping my gambling problem, saving money, being a responsible adult! That was all gone. Everything gone. 

Yes I still had 1k in the bank. But I had so many plans with that money and it was just gone.

Well fast forward to today, I've self excluded myself from every casino I have ever played on for 6 months. I'm going to meetings after work once a week with a therapist just to talk. They actually recommended me to do this after I mentioned Twitch. I haven't even thought about gambling for 3 weeks!

If you stuck around and read the whole think I hope you got some insight into how bad gambling can get and how bad mentally it is for your health. I have many more horrible stories in the relatively short years I have been a degen. 

If you'd like to hear more stories, or would like to share your addiction stories with me on here I would seriously love to read it!

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, jappjimmyp said:

Hello everyone,

After speaking to a few people in Kim's and Nick's streams, I have decided to post about my Gambling Addiction. Hopefully my story can persuade you or even just make you aware that you can really fall quickly into a horrible place.

The story is quite long, but if you stick with it and give it 5 minutes I feel it can really make you aware of the dangers of gambling.

I started gambling a tiny bit late in age, when I was about 22. A friend showed me the ins and outs of how to play a fruit machine (I wish so much he never showed me!). I instantly, and I mean INSTANTLY became addicted and used to spend all my money I earned as a postman on FOBT's. Fortunately my father caught me a few times and sat me down and taught me the evil ways of the FOBT!

I actually stopped gambling for about a year and things were pretty good, I had joined the navy, fit as a flea and had quite a bit money saved for a rainy day. I then got introduced to online football bets, which then turned into online blackjack and roulette which then turned to TURBO DEGEN JIMBO slots, blackjack, poker, roulette, horse racing, FUCKING snail racing is I could gambling.

My style of gambling is incredibly dangerous, for example;

Deposit £250, get balance to £500, withdraw £250 which means in my head I have £250 free to play with. 9/10 I'd lose and I'd repeat said bet in 3 days time, BUT! that 1/10 moment where I when 2k, 3k, 5k. I feel like a boss, BUZZING. Take screenshots, post it onto the forums, post it on live streams, show my friends etc.

This inevitably gets spent over the next few months from more gambling and I'm back feeling sorry for myself, blaming everyone but myself.

This went on for 5 YEARS, until last year. I just simply had enough. I told my family about my addiction. Believe me I was cacking my pants. Numerous things were running through my head. What if they think I'm an idiot? What if they laugh at how stupid it is? How angry are my family going to be? All these questions and so many more. 

What I found was that yes, they were upset. Yes, they didn't understand how someone could be addicted to gambling. But I was so so so RELIEVED that I had finally told them. They too were in some way happy that I spoke out,  this was a good step. A positive one! Until I hit my all time low!

Last year I had completed a 6 month tour of The Falklands Islands, a shit hole freezing country with nothing in it but sheep for 6 long horrible months. I went, mostly for the money, I was 3k in debt, 27 and had nothing to my name. Out there I was earning Just over 2.5k a month.

I came back after 6 months, booked a trip with my family for two weeks in Barbados. beautiful, and I had over 8k savings left in my account. I was extremely happy.

3 weeks later, I've been to pub, seen my mates and thought, ah! why not give Blackjack a try, I'll deposit £500, see how it goes. As I've had a few I gamble above my limits and do £75 bets. That £500 lasted 5 minuted. 

Not phased, I deposit another £1000, this time betting £100 a go. That lasts about 45 minutes.

I'm pissed off now

FUCK IT, £1000 more, I still have around 6k in the bank. £250 hand - loss. Another £250 hand - loss. FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK. £500 spin. YOU LOSE SIR.

Drunk, angry and only about an hour in I'm £2,500 down. For a man that earns £24,500 a year, it hurts.

Well this calls for one thing. I deposited £2,500 went on roulette, Downed the Morgans Spiced out the cupboard to sooth my pain and done 3 £500 spins. Nothing, I feel so sick, I'm sweating! time for the £1000 spin. I get something like £3,400 back happy days. Nope, I'm drunk and angry. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Cut to 4AM. I'm sleepy, angry, so angry infact I had thrown and broken my phone, my headphones were damaged and I had thrown and smashed a glass cup down my hallway. I was £5,000 down in ONE NIGHT.

That might not be a lot in some people's mind, but that for me is over 10% of my yearly wage spent in ONE NIGHT. I woke up  the next morning and I was just sad, distraught in myself that I had worked so hard for 6 months, escaping my gambling problem, saving money, being a responsible adult! That was all gone. Everything gone. 

Yes I still had 1k in the bank. But I had so many plans with that money and it was just gone.

Well fast forward to today, I've self excluded myself from every casino I have ever played on for 6 months. I'm going to meetings after work once a week with a therapist just to talk. They actually recommended me to do this after I mentioned Twitch. I haven't even thought about gambling for 3 weeks!

If you stuck around and read the whole think I hope you got some insight into how bad gambling can get and how bad mentally it is for your health. I have many more horrible stories in the relatively short years I have been a degen. 

If you'd like to hear more stories, or would like to share your addiction stories with me on here I would seriously love to read it!

 

 

 

Oh wow, that's some read right there. I must say that gambling is dangerous, and I can understand what you went through, must have been hell. For some people it's easy to manage for some it's not. I hope that you'll stick around the right path this time and would even encourage you to permanently close all your accounts as it seems that gambling has control over you instead of the other way around. Save yourself money, time, nerves and most importantly life and just forget about it all together. Would even go as far to advise you to stop watching streams or participate in the forums. Why? Because at some point later down you might get tempted again and it will most likely be the same situation as the last time you've relapsed. 

I really wish you all the best on your efforts and hope they stick around this time!

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Skylined I really hope I can change my thought process or even style of gambling. 

 

Im getting help, I’m going to stick around for a couple of weeks, if I can’t fight the urge, then I’m afraid your advice is more than likely going to be the outcome. 

A shame, I’ve become good friends with Kim and Nick, and many people in the chat. I’ve also met lots of people in person from here and had a great time in meeting them. 

I’m doing great at the moment, the real test for me is when I have time of work.

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5 minutes ago, jappjimmyp said:

Skylined I really hope I can change my thought process or even style of gambling. 

 

Im getting help, I’m going to stick around for a couple of weeks, if I can’t fight the urge, then I’m afraid your advice is more than likely going to be the outcome. 

A shame, I’ve become good friends with Kim and Nick, and many people in the chat. I’ve also met lots of people in person from here and had a great time in meeting them. 

I’m doing great at the moment, the real test for me is when I have time of work.

Well it is entirely up to you what you do, but if you feel like that the danger of it will never go away, perhaps make an alternative and give control of the finances to someone you trust - i.e. your family or girlfriend. That way you won't be able to spend anything on gambling as you'll be provided just enough to get the bills and food done. Rest goes to savings which you don't have access to. That should literally force you to forget about gambling or be tempted to gamble all together. I know there are a lot people here in the community and even streamers are fun to be around with and if you don't want to miss on that the above alternative should do the trick. Either way cutting it all out together or give control of finances to someone else are the only two ways to really stir clear of it. If it helps, you can share more stories or your progress here so we can all see how you're doing and be there for support if needed.

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So sorry to hear about this @jappjimmyp. You have been one of my most loyal viewers and i wish you had reached out to me earlier for advice on this as i would of told you to instantly get on GamStop or GamBan as what you have described is compulsive and addictive gambling behaviour which is the last thing i want to encourage from my streams.

Please remember i'm always here to talk via PM, Twitter and Email if you get the urges back.

Do you have an Xbox or PS4? I recommend gaming as a good distraction from gambling, and also spending time with family. Exercise is also a great one too for clearing the mind.

Keep in touch mate.

Much love x

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All I can say @jappjimmyp is, been there and done that so I can understand entirely how you feel. Funnily enough, my habit also started with FOBT's too and ended up playing blackjack and roulette online.

The best thing that ever happened to me was getting caught. It forced me to acknowledge that I had a problem and I sought help. Ironically, I used gambling as an escape from day to day pressures, but all it did was get me into debt and create even more pressure. I haven't gambled for a few years now, got my life in order and I'm debt free. 

The best thing you can do is stop. Sign up to GamStop to prevent you from gambling online. If you don't, the temptation will always be there.

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I had a problem many years ago with gambling addiction. Its difficult to explain to people the mentality your in when your going through it. If you combine the addiction with impulsive behavior this will lead to a ruined (but not useless) gambling lifestyle. I can gamble with a very high degree of restraint these days because i am aware of my limits and what triggers the out of control habits that i used to have. @jappjimmyp I hope you continue dealing with your problem gambling and wish you all the best for your future. 

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I read all the story and the comments and is heart warming how wonderful and supportive the comments are. I am so glad you have realised your weakness and open up to your family and I am great full that you shared your story with us. This shows that you are only human and everyone accept you for who you are as long as you open up and dont let it take you down. You have already achieved amazing reward of being open and seeking for help and you should be very proud of yourself. 

I hope you will keep it up and not to do the same mistake again however what ever the future might bring please do not hesitate to speak up and dont feel embarrassed about it. 

Very best of luck and thank you for sharing the story with us. 

Kind Regards

#Albi   

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I think the most dangerous feeling is the feeling that comes to most people after a little while... "Im now cured, I can probably go for a little session etc."
An addict is always an addict no matter what you are addicted to. Its a daily practice to NOT do something. It doesnt just stop behing hard, even though it probably gets easier.

You can cover an ugly spot on a wall with a poster, with another layer of paint or whatever, but just scraping out a tiny hole will reveal enough for you to remember exactly whats behind there. and it will be like that cover isnt there at all anymore. There is no cure, there is only daily practice. Everyone who gambles does this but their dicipline outweighs their urge. For addicts its the other way around. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing you did that got you where you are, not anything that you could have done differently anyway. For you , once you were introduced to gambling, would always end up here. Its how you were built.

That is however no longer the case. You are now aware of your problem, really aware, as is your supporting circle. You´ll be fine if you dicipline yourself as you seem to be doing now. Its not a matter of saying good luck, as much as keep up your daily practice. After doing something like what you have done here, im quite confident you will be just fine my friend. Take care! @jappjimmyp

 

Edited by plejern
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