Oh wow, that's some read right there. I must say that gambling is dangerous, and I can understand what you went through, must have been hell. For some people it's easy to manage for some it's not. I hope that you'll stick around the right path this time and would even encourage you to permanently close all your accounts as it seems that gambling has control over you instead of the other way around. Save yourself money, time, nerves and most importantly life and just forget about it all together. Would even go as far to advise you to stop watching streams or participate in the forums. Why? Because at some point later down you might get tempted again and it will most likely be the same situation as the last time you've relapsed.
I really wish you all the best on your efforts and hope they stick around this time!